The healing hands

In the age around 28, I tried to finally accept myself as an artist. I worked (when I worked) very hard and was quite successful from a financial viewpoint. My income was good enough that I had to work by schedule only 6 months a year, and I had 6 months where I could express myself just the way I wanted to, while still searching my true identity. I composed songs one after the other, I painted pictures, I wrote a book to help myself understanding whether there is such a thing as matter or not, I produced tons of notes and sketches about my thoughts, questions and insights, I experimented with the first computer animation software, I studied all kind of graphic and desktop publishing software, I learned movie post production, in short: I broadened my skills in many directions... Great freedom, but no satisfaction at all, only little short-term happiness attacks through the finishing of every particular project. And then..? What then..? Searching for a new project, and a new project and another project. Boy, was I lost!

One afternoon, my neighbor Editha (50) rang on my door. She asked me if I could take care about a package delivery, because her tremendous headache would not allow her to open the door, she wanted to lay down. I agreed and let her go.
Less than three minutes later I was ringing on her door. Only God knows what was driving me... I offered her a neck massage... Holy cow, what was wrong with me... what do I know about massage besides that it feels good?
And to make the confusion perfect, Editha accepted instantly my offer with great appreciation.
OK, fine, I guess I can do that...

So I gave her a head and neck massage. Every single cell in my body wanted to help her. My hands did movements which I haven't known before, my brain was blank, I was in a different state of mind, there were only my hands, my will to heal and her body - after approximately twenty minutes, it felt to me that it was done.
She lolled and stretched herself, she stood up from the chair, stared at me for a little while and said: Gosh! my headache is gone!
We exchanged some thank you's and some you're welcome's and I went back to my computer, still puzzled about what I had done. Was that right? Have I made a fool of myself? I had no formal training for massage, no clue as a matter of fact what I was doing there, how could I do such a thing? Retrospectively I really didn't feel well.

A couple of hours later, it rang again on my door. Editha brought something to eat, she had cooked it herself and wanted to share with me. She knew, that I never took good care about myself in respect of food. While we were eating, all of the sudden stony-faced she said: "You have healing hands. My headache is gone and didn't came back. You have this talent. - I would like to tell this my coworker, she also has lots of headache and nothing and nobody can help her, she will generously compensate you ..."
Immediately I stumbled into a strong position of defense, I lavished on her innumerable reasons why this is absurd and why I never could do that, especially not for money.... "healing hands"?... I don't think so! I was almost upset about this remark.

It doesn't took long to forget all this, with a shaking head about myself I just put my nose even deeper into my work.

Well well well, to make a very long story short ... ten years later I had advanced to a Reiki Master and Teacher, and another few years later to Shamballa Reiki as well as Ra-Sheeba. All that came with ease and grace to me as the time was right for me.
I am not telling this, as a victim of a bunch of wild pride attacks, I am not even a practitioner, I do not offer healing sessions, but I am telling this, to give an understanding why I do offer my knowledge about "how to heal yourself".

To my neighbor I have given Reiki, or Energy-Work, or Light-Work or however you prefer to call it, and I was not even aware about that at that time. What I did had no name at this point in my life, but it sure was powerful.
Over time I was guided to understand, that everybody, every single one of us, has the capacity to heal. Through merely the power of thought based on love, and of course amplified through techniques like Reiki, which are helping us to understand the flow of energy and to open up to this flow of energy. One of the major difficult steps is to get the understanding, what kind of thoughts it takes in order to change a certain reality into another one, it requires to let go of old thoughts (systems, patterns, blocks) and to replace them with new thoughts... once this step is reached the rest is like a walk on the beach.

Now, here is one of my famous uncomfortable questions: if everybody can heal, why would someone visit a healer asking for a healing session, when instead one could ask for the initiation to heal oneself?
Answer: because we all have forgotten, that we have this healing capacity, and each of us has his own timing to remember again.
Another uncomfortable question: why would someone use the traditional medicine, when it is obvious that they only repair the effect and never heal the cause?
Answer: because some of us are stuck so deep in the spiral of fear and denial, that they simply can't see the light on the end of the tunnel, they just need even more time to allow the re-discovery of their own healing power - (and I know what I am talking about... after all, I was in that spiral of denial myself...:-)

*****

Even after my first contact with "healing hands" I too lived in some sort of denial. I could never see myself as a healer, that was too far off for me. I was a successful artist and that was exactly the way I wanted to see my future, yet I healed myself constantly in all kind of different situations. I managed to draw in a marathon session until my fingers were bloody, my arms heavy as lead, my back close to break apart, my ankles swollen like water balloons and I drew and drew all day long, all night long until all stores were closed, which means on top of it all hungry. I went to bed, just a few hours were left, visualized the most rested, powerful and beautiful body - and boom bada bang, the next day I was ready to start over with the next drawing marathon.

*****

I dipped my entire hand in a mega-hot oil container, where mini-donuts are baked in ... I pulled it out, and my first reaction: oh god, I am dreaming that... this is simply not true... nothing is happened, nothing is happened, everything is fine... Then finally my brain started to work again and I put my hand for a long time under cold running water, still with affirmation: nothing is happened, everything is fine. My hand looked awful, it was hurting like crazy, but I took just another approach to all that: I merely observed that feeling, which I also could call pain, I allowed it to be, I accepted it the way it was (with tears in my eyes though), it was nothing but a feeling, no judgment whether this intense feeling was good or bad. And over and over again my affirmations: nothing is happened, everything is fine.
A coworker, who saw the whole story, commented: "Wow! Trust me, in a week your hand will be full of watery bubbles, disgusting and hateful hurting..."
I wished him silently his own mirror, and kept going to do affirmations: nothing is happened, my hand is fine, I can use it tomorrow the way it is supposed to be...
The next day, the coworker came to visit, and was speechless about what he saw: nothing! My hand still was very sensitive though when I came close to any kind of hot area, but other than that... nothing was happened, everything was just fine. Actually needless to say, that after a week there were of course no ugly bubbles in my hand.

*****

A really mean guy (gee, I wonder why he was in my life...:-) twisted my leg, and a sudden pain like a deep cut from a knife went through my knee. I am a "tough one", I can take a lot, but that pain made me cry out loud. I hobbled to my car and forced myself to drive somewhat two hours to find a welcome and a sleeping place at a friends house. How funny, when I remember all this now, I had all the time one or the other hand on my knee, or both of them. Isn't it interesting how we instinctively do sometimes just the right thing?
One more time I refused to go into a hospital, but my friend insisted. I agreed and thought, well at least I don't have to pay the bandage. The doctor told me, what I already knew: the knee is damaged and needs an expensive surgery through a special sport medicine team. He was talking and talking about impossibilities which I didn't want to hear, and I lost my nerves, commanded him with a real sharp sound in my voice to simply put a bandage around my knee so that I can leave.
The next days I did the same "technique" as I did so many times before: every cell is in its right place, every cell is in the proper condition, everything is just fine. And indeed, after a few days I could walk without pain, the swelling was gone, the knee looked absolutely normal. Plain and simple: It happened what I intended to happen. Yet I knew, that from now on I have to consciously control my movements, otherwise it will pop out again.
I forgave that "mean guy" already while I was driving, because I knew why that happened to me, I understood my lesson in this drama, there was no basis left for anger, blame and judgment. This insight was sure enough one of the reasons, why my knee was healing so fast.
In all these years, my knee hasn't popped out much, but whenever it did, I knew in the twinkling of an eye what I had screwed...:-)
And the surgery through a special sport medicine team ... do you really think I have spent a second thought on that?

*****

There are many of this little stories in my life, which proof to me the healing power of my mind. But they not only proof this, they proof vice versa also the power in the other direction. If it is possible to heal through my thoughts, then it is possible to make sick through my thoughts. Both variations are the extremes to both ends of a long line... in-between are all the other shades with more or less percentage in either one or the other direction. It's again a matter of choice in everyone's life: would you rather believe you can heal yourself, or would you rather believe you have no power at all, and anything in-between.
Try to build up the "knowing", that you are the creator of your life and your health... What can you loose? Nothing. What can you win? Everything.